170 Old Country Road, Suite 314, Mineola, NY 11501 — across from the Nassau County courthouses Call us today  516-248-7008
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Long Island Child Custody Lawyer

Put your children first — and keep them there.

No part of a separation matters more than what happens to your children, and no part benefits more from being resolved by parents rather than imposed by a court.

Mitchell A. Greebel has handled custody and parenting matters for Nassau, Suffolk, and Queens families since 1984 — from an office across the street from the courthouse where these cases are heard. Most custody arrangements we handle are settled by agreement; when they can't be, you have an advocate who knows this courthouse well.

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Mitch is by far the best divorce/family attorney I've ever met… It's nice to finally have an attorney who isn't in it for the money and who actually cares about their clients. — Google Review
A father walking through a field at sunset holding his two children's hands

Two kinds of custody. Start here.

New York decides two separate questions, and knowing which one you're actually arguing about changes the whole conversation.

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Legal custody

Legal custody is decision-making authority: education, health care, and religious upbringing. Joint legal custody means both parents share those decisions, which works when parents can communicate — and creates deadlock when they can't. Sole legal custody places the final say with one parent, often with a duty to consult the other.

Physical custody

Physical or residential custody is where a child actually lives, and the parenting-time schedule that goes with it. This is where most disagreement lives, and where a carefully written schedule — holidays, school breaks, pickups, what happens when plans change — prevents years of friction better than any court order enforced after the fact.

Not sure what you're actually asking for?

That's the most common starting point — and often the first thing a consultation settles.

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How does a judge actually decide custody in New York?

Every custody decision in New York turns on one standard: the best interests of the child. That phrase gets quoted constantly and explained almost never. In practice, a judge weighs which parent has provided day-to-day care, the stability each home offers, each parent's ability to meet the child's needs, how well the parents communicate and support the child's relationship with the other parent, and — depending on age and maturity — the child's own preferences.

What surprises most parents is what does not decide it: there is no automatic preference for mothers, no rule that the higher earner wins, and no requirement that a child's stated wish be followed. Judges in both the Nassau County Family Court and Nassau County Supreme Court see these cases every day, and how they weigh these factors is knowledge earned by appearing before them — not by reading the statute.

What we do about it: we build the case around what actually carries weight with the judge hearing it — and tell you early which parts of your situation help you and which need work.

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Do you still pay child support with 50/50 custody?

Usually, yes — and this is the single most common misunderstanding we hear. Equal parenting time does not cancel child support. New York's formula looks at parental income, and in a shared-time arrangement the higher-earning parent typically still pays support to the other household. The reasoning is that a child's standard of living shouldn't swing depending on which parent's house they woke up in.

There is real nuance here — how time is counted, how income is calculated for a self-employed parent or one with variable pay, and when a court may adjust the formula result. It's one of the first things worth getting a clear answer on, because assumptions about it drive some of the worst custody decisions parents make.

What we do about it: we work out what a proposed arrangement actually means financially before you agree to it, so the parenting schedule you choose is one you picked on purpose — not one you assumed came with a certain support outcome.

A child being pulled by the arms between her two parents in a living room

What is the biggest mistake parents make in a custody case?

Treating the case as a contest to be won against the other parent. Courts notice — and they weigh a parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent as a factor in itself. Parents who document every failing of their ex, who use pickups as confrontations, or who put a child in the position of choosing sides frequently damage the case they think they're building.

The second mistake is informal arrangements that drift. A schedule that works while both parents are cooperative becomes a serious problem when one of them isn't, and a court asked to enforce an agreement that was never written down has very little to work with. Four decades of these cases teaches the same lesson repeatedly: precision at the start prevents litigation later.

What we do about it: we tell you plainly when something you're about to do will hurt your position — and we write the agreement precisely enough that it holds up when cooperation runs out.

A father holding an umbrella over his young daughter among moving boxes in a new home

Can I move out of state with my child after a divorce?

Not unilaterally, if the other parent has custody or parenting rights. Relocation is its own distinct area of New York custody law, and on Long Island it comes up constantly — families moving to Florida, the Carolinas, or New Jersey for work, family, or cost of living.

A court weighing a relocation request looks at the reasons for the move, the effect on the child's relationship with the parent staying behind, whether the move genuinely improves the child's life, and whether a workable long-distance schedule is possible. These cases are won or lost on preparation, and they are far easier to handle before a move is planned than after one is announced.

What we do about it: we handle relocation questions early, while options are still open — whether you're the parent hoping to move or the one staying behind.

A mother and her teenage daughter talking together on the couch at home

At what age can a child choose which parent to live with?

There is no magic age in New York — this is one of the most persistent myths in family law. No birthday hands a child the decision. What actually happens is that a child's wishes carry increasing weight as they mature, and a judge may hear those wishes directly or through an attorney appointed for the child.

But preference is one factor among many, and a court will look closely at whether a stated preference is genuinely the child's own. Parents who believe a teenager's decision is automatic — or who campaign for one — are often surprised by how a court actually treats it.

What we do about it: we give you a realistic picture of how much weight your child's wishes will actually carry, so you're not building a strategy on a myth.

A father seeing his two children with backpacks into the car

How do parenting-time schedules actually work?

A good schedule is specific enough to remove ambiguity and flexible enough to survive real life. It covers the regular week, holidays and school breaks, summers, birthdays, where exchanges happen, how much notice a change requires, and how the parents communicate about the child. Vagueness is what generates conflict: "reasonable visitation" is an invitation to argue every week for a decade.

Arrangements also need to fit the child. What works for a toddler doesn't work for a high schooler with a job and a social life, which is why well-drafted agreements anticipate change — and why modification exists when circumstances shift substantially.

What we do about it: we draft schedules around how your family actually lives, and build in room for the years ahead rather than only the year in front of you.

What it looks like for your children.

Most custody matters end in an agreement rather than a courtroom — and for children, that difference is not a technicality. It is close to the whole thing.

What predicts how children come through a separation is less the separation itself than how much conflict they are exposed to along the way. Children who are kept out of the middle — who aren't carrying messages, choosing sides, or listening to one parent describe the other — generally do well. That is why a settlement-first approach isn't only cheaper and faster. In custody, it is usually the version that protects the people the case is actually about.

A resolved arrangement means your children know where they will be on Tuesday and at Thanksgiving. It means school, teams, and friendships continue without renegotiation every few weeks. It means both parents stay present in the ordinary parts of their lives — homework, pickups, sick days — rather than only the scheduled ones. And it means the adults, not the children, are the ones carrying the difficulty.

Getting there is unglamorous work: understand what each parent genuinely needs, find the arrangement that fits how this family actually lives, and write it down carefully enough that it doesn't come back. When the other parent won't engage — or when a child's wellbeing requires it — that same preparation is what carries the case in front of a judge.

A parent in a field at sunset with two children

Partner-led representation,
across from the courthouse.

Custody matters are decided in both the Nassau County Family Court and Supreme Court — directly across the street from our office at 170 Old Country Road. Mitchell A. Greebel has appeared in those courthouses since 1984, and when you retain this firm you work with him: the attorney you meet at the consultation is the attorney who handles your matter through resolution.

That matters more in custody than anywhere else in family law. These cases are decided on judgment, credibility, and preparation — knowing which arguments carry weight with which judge, when to push for a temporary order, and when the best outcome for a child is an agreement reached without a hearing at all.

Mitchell A. Greebel

Partner — matrimonial & family law since 1984

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Divorce & Family Law

The full picture — process, cost, and what comes next

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Custody questions we hear most

No. New York law gives no automatic preference to either parent. Courts decide custody by the best interests of the child, weighing stability, each parent's involvement and ability to provide care, and how the parents communicate.

Legal custody is the authority to make major decisions about a child's education, health care, and religious upbringing. Physical custody, often called residential custody, is where the child actually lives day to day. Parents can share one, both, or neither, and the two are decided separately.

Yes. Custody and parenting time can be modified when circumstances change substantially — a relocation, a change in work schedule, a child's changing needs, or a parent's inability to follow the existing order. The parent asking for the change must show why the current arrangement no longer serves the child.

Grandparents may petition for visitation in specific circumstances, and in narrower cases for custody. These cases turn on the relationship with the child and the circumstances of the parents, and they are among the more fact-specific matters in family law.

Once paternity is established, unmarried parents have the same rights and obligations regarding custody, parenting time, and support as married parents. The case proceeds in Family Court rather than as part of a divorce.

Not necessarily. Most families resolve custody and parenting time by agreement, which the court then reviews and adopts. Court becomes necessary when parents cannot agree, or when a temporary order is needed while the case is pending.

The answers above are general information about New York law, not legal advice about your situation. For advice you can rely on, speak with an attorney.

Talk it through before you decide anything.

Whether you're working out a schedule with a cooperative co-parent or facing a dispute you didn't ask for, the first step is the same: a free, confidential conversation about where you stand and what the realistic paths look like for your children.

516-248-7008

170 Old Country Road, Suite 314, Mineola, NY 11501
Across from the Nassau County courthouses

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